Finding a Home
by gamer072196
Summary: "I never had a family. In the Circle, I always felt alone. In the Wardens, I'm not alone, but I don't feel like I belong. I need to find a place where I belong and I'm not alone." Solona has always longed for a family. After reading a report on Anders' disappearance and rumors about him working with someone named 'Hawke,' she is determined to find her family and belong...
1. The Report

It has been three months since the Mother was killed and Solona Amell was sitting in her room at Vigil's Keep, looking over reports on everything she needed to know about the arling. Progress on rebuilding the City of Amaranthine, which, despite how she felt, she ordered burned to the ground, was ongoing. In her head she knew it was the right decision. The Vigil was the center of power for the arling and the Fereldan Grey Wardens both so it couldn't be allowed to fall. But as she ordered the city burned, watched the soldiers load and aim the ballistas, then saw them launch their flaming cargo into the city, she had a sick feeling in her stomach. A feeling that told her that anyone who survived the darkspawn as going to die anyway, because **she** ordered it. Everyone said the city was lost, that there wouldn't be any survivors, but she knew there were people still alive.

She had to shake it off. _What's done is done. Snap out of it!_ She skipped over the rest of the reports and put them aside, to be read later. As she picks up the reports, she accidentally drops one on her desk. Putting the stack down, she reaches for the dropped report and something written on it catches her eye. The report says that Anders has, somehow, disappeared without a trace. The report hinted towards rumors that Anders was working with someone named Jennifer Hawke in Kirkwall and included a bio on Hawke, including her known relatives and associates. An elf named Fenris, a dwarf by the name of Varric Tethras, Isabela, another elf named Merrill, her sister Bethany, Guard-Captain Aveline Vallen, her mother Leandra, and her uncle, Gamlen Amell.

"Amell? No. No, it has to be a coincidence," she thought out loud. She read and re-read the name, unsure whether this was a prank or a misprint. _Nathaniel was in Kirkwall before he came back here, right? He might know about this Gamlen._ Solona picks up the report and heads out of her room. As she opens the door, she almost runs into Alistair, clad in his royal armor.

"You in a rush Solona?" Alistair asks with a chuckle.

"Alistair? What are you doing here? I hope this isn't a formal visit. You know how much I hate being formal."

"Just checking in. Is something wrong? You got that look on your face that you get when you have other things on your mind."

"It's personal. Nothing you need to worry about."

"Tell me anyway. You know I won't leave you alone until you do." Alistair lets out a small laugh that only makes Solona want to tell him more.

"Damn it. You know that little laugh of yours always makes me want to tell you stuff!" Solona complains.

"Oh does it now?" Alistair teases.

"Curse you… Fine, I'll tell you."

"Oh, wait a moment. Let me grab a seat," Alistair continues teasing.

"Oh, ha ha. Very funny," Solona replies, sarcastically.

"I do my best!"

"Do you want me to tell you or not?"

"Alright, I'll shut up. Go ahead."

"Ok. Well, Anders disappeared and, apparently, there are rumors he is working with some woman named Jennifer Hawke."

"How is this personal?"

"I'm getting to that. This Hawke women lives in Kirkwall with her mother, her sister, and her uncle, Gamlen **Amell**."

"Amell? Isn't your last name Amell?"

"Now you see why this is personal?"

"Oh… I suppose you want to see if they are actually related to you? Maybe meet them?"

"I want to know more about them first. Then I'll decide if I want to meet them."

"I might be able to help you with that."

"What do you mean?"

"I heard about the Amells from Eamon when I was younger. If I remember right, they are a important noble family in Kirkwall. Their eldest was supposed to marry the Comte de Launcet before she ran away with some other man."

"So I'm… descended from nobility?"

"If you're the same Amell, then yes."

"I wonder if they would recognize me…"

"Uh, I don't think it's a good idea to go to Kirkwall. The city is literally crawling with Templars. And Knight-Commander Meredith is not exactly the most friendly person. Especially around mages."

"I'll just have to be careful then, won't I?" Solona walks past Alistair, dropping the report as she goes. Alistair picks up the report and catches up to Solona, matching her pace.

"Are you sure about this? Do you need any help?"

"Alistair, everything I have done; stopping the Blight, saving Vigil's Keep, killing the Mother, I have done with other people's help. Not because I wanted to, but because it is my duty to save people. I want- no, I need- to do this for myself. I never had a family. In the Circle, I always felt alone. In the Wardens, I'm not alone, but I don't feel like I belong. I need to find a place where I belong and I'm not alone."

"I… understand. But who will run the arling while you are gone?"

"Probably Nathaniel. Oghren is too immature and Velanna left after we killed the Mother to go find her sister. Justice is gone too and Sigrun doesn't seem to understand the surface enough."

"Isn't Nathaniel a Howe?"

"Yes, but he is nothing like his father. I trust him." They round a corner and come out into the main hall before stopping near a pillar and facing each other.

"I'm guessing you'll be leaving right now?"

"That's the plan. I'm going to take my ship to Kirkwall. At least Amaranthine's harbor has been rebuilt."

"I still can't believe you burned down the city. I understand why, but I can't believe it."

"Neither can I. Sometimes it seems like it was all a dream… or a nightmare."

"I'm glad it wasn't me making the decision. Burn a city to save your army, or let them die to save a few survivors… That's a tough decision."

"Don't remind me… Well, I'd better get ready to head to Kirkwall."

"Yes, I have to leave too. Good luck."

"Thank you. Bye." Alistair hands the report back to Solona, turns, and walks out the front doors of the main hall, flanked by his royal guard. _Damn that armor makes him look good._ She shakes the thought from her mind. _Ugh… That one always sneaks up on me._


	2. Finding Hawke

Solona had been on her ship for two days now and the cliffs of Kirkwall were still out of sight. She had been given an estimate of three days before reaching the city, but she was impatient. She wanted to find her family.

She took all her belongings from Vigil's Keep, which wasn't much. A few changes of robes and small clothes, her staff, her spell books on spirit and creation magic as well as a few on healing magic, a chest of lyrium potions, runes, rune tracings, crafting materials, etc., and the descriptions she received for Gamlen Amell and the Hawkes. She even had descriptions for the elf, Fenris, the dwarf, Varric Tethras, and Aveline Vallen in case she couldn't locate her 'relatives.' She also had an address for everyone except Fenris, and she found this odd. She also found it odd that she learned almost nothing of Merrill other than the fact that she was Dalish. How Hawke became associated with the Dalish was beyond her.

She slowly became more and more impatient and had half a mind to yell at the captain to make the ship go faster. She knew it wouldn't do anything, but she couldn't really think of anything else to do. She had studied all of her spell books twice and looked over the descriptions three times. _I wish I had brought something else to read. I wonder what happened to those books I had stuffed under my bed in the Circle…_ Solona decided that she should get something to eat when her stomach started rumbling. She stood up and headed out her cabin door, only to see the first mate standing there with his hand raised and balled into a fist as if he was about to knock on the door.

"Oh, Warden-Commander!" the man shouted in surprise. "Uh, I was told to speak with you."

"Can it wait?" Solona asks. "I was going to get something to eat."

"I apologize, but the captain thought you should know that we are actually ahead of schedule."

"Meaning?"

"We should Kirkwall within a few hours."

"So soon?"

"Yes. We have favorable winds and the current is being generous."

"Well, let me know when we are in sight of Kirkwall. I'll be getting some lunch if you need anything."

"Of course, Warden-Commander." The man salutes and heads back to his post as Solona heads to the mess. _I've told everyone a dozen times that they don't need to be formal around me. Ugh…_

Solona enters the mess and sees a small portion of the crew relaxing, having drinks and playing diamondback. As soon as they see her enter they all stand at attention, some saluting her. "Don't worry boys. You can go back to your cards and drinks." Some of the crewmen looked almost relieved as they sat back down and returned to their game. Solona couldn't help but notice that some of the crewmen were eyeing her, no doubt they were drunk and thought they might have a chance with her. Not that she blamed them, she was quite attractive and the only woman on the ship. She had decided that either it was their respect for her position or their respect for her deeds that prevented them from making advances on her. At least when they were sober.

She grabbed a plate and practically filled it with meats and bread. Some of the men were staring, dumbfounded, as she walked past with her large lunch, which seemed especially large considering her petite form. She sat at an empty table and started eating her food. She watched the men as the stole quick glances at her, now doubt wondering how someone as petite as she was could eat so much food on her own. She could have put on horns and called herself a dwarf and the crew would have been less confused. When she finished her food she was thirsty as the meat had a bit of salt in it to preserve it for the journey. She went and grabbed a fairly large mug and filled it to the brim with ale. Some of the men watched in shock as she chugged the ale and put the mug back where she grabbed it, then walked out of the mess as though nothing had happened. _That's right boys. I eat and drink like man._ She grinned at herself for the show she put on for the crew, proud that she showed them her real self, not the version everyone heard about.

As she walked out of the mess and onto the main deck of the ship she caught a glimpse of Kirkwall's cliffs over the horizon. "Almost there," she said to herself, under her breath. As she heard the first mate's footsteps approach from behind her, she said, "Yes, I know we are almost there."

The first mate stops in his tracks, surprised at her sudden response. "That's… not what I was going to say."

Solona turns around with a questioning look, but doesn't say anything.

"There is a stowaway in the cargo hold and he says he knows you."

"A stowaway? Take me to him."

"Right away, Commander."

They walk across the deck towards a hatch that leads to the cargo hold and enter the hold. The first mate points to the far end of the hold and Solona starts walking toward the area he pointed out, squeezing around the occasional crate. "Come out," she orders.

"It is good to see you again, my old friend," says a familiar sounding voice, carrying a hint of an Antivan accent. Then a familiar looking elf appears from behind a stack of crates, arms crossed and smiling.

"Zevran? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, the usual: being hunted by the Crows, stowing away on the ships of heroes…"

"Ha! You always did find ways to make me laugh. You want to catch up before we get to Kirkwall?"

"Ah, so that's where we are heading. I wonder what it is like there…"

"You'll find out in a few hours. We're almost there."

"Really? Now why would you be going there? It must be important."

"You could say that."

"Ooh, this sounds like it'll be interesting."

"Come on, I'll explain in my cabin."

* * *

Jennifer Hawke sat on her bunk in the room she and her sister Bethany shared. Bethany walks into the room and looks at her older sister questioningly. "What's wrong sis?" she asks.

"We're five sovereigns short of what we need for Bartrand's expedition and I can't seem to find any more work."

"Are we really that close?"

"Yes, but not close enough, even with Varric's help. And I'm not taking that Coterie thug's deal. I am sure that he would turn on us as soon as he got his share."

"Do we have any other options? We need the coin we could make from the expedition to get out of Lowtown."

"I know, Bethany. I just… I just don't know what we can do."

"Do you think Varric could-" Bethany is cut off as they hear a knock at the door. "Now who could that be?"

"You stay here. I'll answer the door." Jennifer stands up and walks over to the front door. She slowly opens it to see a young, petite woman standing with an awkward smile on her face. "Yes?"

"Are you Jennifer Hawke?" the woman asks.

"Yes. Do you need something?"

"No, I just wanted to meet you."

"And who exactly are you?"

"Solona Amell."


End file.
